WWE FastLane 2015 Review

-We get WWE’s extremely over the top opening sequence spouting out phrases related to “Fastlane”  in between snippets of voice-overs and clips  hyping up tonight’s contest.

-Michael Cole, Jerry Lawyer, and JBL welcome us as we get right to the action.

1. Dolph Ziggler, Eric Rowan, & Ryback vs. The Big Show, Kane, & Seth Rollins

-What the heck is Ryback wearing? That is hideous.

-Rollins and Ziggler start stuff out as the crowd gives Rollins a “You Sold Out” chant.

-Rowen is the legal man and he and Show do some basic brawling on the outside. The crowd quickly loses their enthusiasm.

-The actions drags until Ziggler gets back into the ring and goes to finish off Kane, but The Big Show hits a Knockout Punch from the outside and Kane gets the victory for his team.

-The three celebrate with J&J Security over a downed Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler tries to crawl up when Rollins his his Curb Stomp.

-Randy Orton returns! Just in time for that WrestleMania payday!

-He rushes the ring and clears house, and gives RKOs to everyone as Seth Rollins makes a break for it.

-Ew its babyface Orton.

2. Stardust vs. Goldust

-Well, this might be the closest Goldust ever gets to realizing his dream of facing his little brother at a WrestleMania.

-Cody seems to be somewhere in between being Stardust and Cody Rhodes. Interesting.

-Stardust stays in control of his brother for much of the contest.

-The crowd sporadically chant “Cody” and the faces of conflict Stardust makes are just perfect for the storyline. I loved that little touch from Stardust.

-Stardust goes for the Cross Rhodes, but Goldust counters with a snap-mare and a backslide. Surprisingly gets the three count. Though it looked as if that was not supposed to be the finish.

-Goldust offers  his hand to his brother and Stardust shakes his hand. Stardust walks to the back looking confused.

-We get a recap of the online rivalry between The Daily Show’s Jon Stewart and Seth Rollins.

-We then cut to the back where Goldust reassures his father he tried to not hurt his brother. Stardust jumps his brother and cuts a promo on his father about how they both killed Cody Rhodes and how they would both live in the shadow of Stardust.

-See you at WrestleMania.

3. The Usos vs. Cesaro & Tyson Kidd for the WWE Tag Team Championship

-We jump to a terrible backstage segment from WWE Smackdown! from a few weeks ago. Is that all their story is?  A crappy double-date gone wrong? Ew.

-Cesaro and Kid isolate Jimmy Uso and work over his leg for a few minutes. We even get a one-legged Cesaro Swing.

-Jimmy tags in his brother, and The Usos finally get some action in.

-Everyone gets involved, and all four men end up down on the outside.

-Kidd locks in a Sharpshooter and it looks like we might get new champions, but a kick to the side of the head breaks the submission.

-Kidd hits a Fishermen Neck Breaker and gets the victory! New WWE Tag Team Champions!

-The crowd competently died for this match which is a shame because all the action here was really solid. The problem was that there was little to no story going in. So no one cared much either way.

Triple H and Sting: Face-To-Face

Sting and Triple H.jpg

-Recap promo reminds us all why Triple H hates Sting and get across the story so far.

-Triple H enters with his leather jacket and new tee-shirt. Thankfully, he kept his promo short and got straight to asking Sting to come to the ring.

-Sting obliges and enters to his crappy new theme song. Seriously? Why can’t they use his iconic WCW entrance music?

-Triple H tries to get under Sting’s skin by calling him a failure and then attempts to make a deal with “The Icon” using DVDs, Action Figures, merchandise, and a spot in the WWE Hall of Fame. What a guy!

-Triple H keeps going and then cheap shots the former WCW legend.  “The Game” gets the sledgehammer. But Sting reveals his bat!

-He holds it to Triple H’s chin and then points to the WrestleMania sign. He hits the Scorpion Death Drop to Triple H after he attempts one final sneak attack.

4. Paige vs. Nikki Bella for the WWE Diva’s Championship

-Michael Cole wisely calls the title “coveted.”

-Paige has to stay on defense for much of the opening. Nikki, actually, gets in some decent offense during the opening moments.

-Paige gets a kick to Nikki’s shoulder and takes control, and the both women sort of fumble through the next few spots.

-Nikki wins with a  roll up. No build up to an ending. Typical.

-We have seen far worse Diva’s matches lately, but I think I’m just bored of the Bella Twins. They have been at the forefront for so long. and the crowd was utterly dead, unfortunately.

-The commentary team confirms the first official match for WrestleMania. “The Icon” Sting will face “The Game.”

5. Dean Ambrose vs. Wade Barrett for the WWE Intercontinental Championship

-Decent enough story going into this match as Ambrose forced Barrett to sign the contract for it after he defeated him in a non-title match.

-Ambrose spends  much of this match in control, but the referee calls for the bell after he fails to abide by the referee’s rules?

-The heck?

-Amrbose leaves with the Intercontinental Championship anyway.

-I hate seeing Ambrose being regulated to midcard title feuds. He is far too good to not be getting geared up for a major marque match at WrestleMania.

-A pretty nothing match honestly.

-Commercial for the WWE and Flinestone’s “Stone Age Smackdown” airs, and they cut out the segment with CM Punk’s character in it.

Bray Wyatt: The New Face of Fear

-The Undertaker’s druids music hit, and they come out with torches lit. The bell tolls, but it isn’t The Undertaker. A casket is wheeled down the ramp by two hooded druids.

-The casket is opened and out comes Bray Wyatt who indirectly cuts a promo on The Undertaker.

-He says The Undertaker’s soul is lost and stuck in limbo. He want’s to send him “home” and says his mission is clear. Great stuff here from Wyatt.

-He says he will claim the soul of The Undertaker and the casket shuts as Bray Wyatt laughs.

-That was probably Bray Wyatt’s first decent promo in months. For the first time since the rumors began, I am excited to see Bray Wyatt versus The Undertaker at WrestleMania.

6. Rusev w/ Lana vs. John Cena for the WWE United States Championship

-I have to say, this is the most prestigious the United States Championship has looked in a long, long time.

-Rusev, undefeated, has been dominate, but has never had to go in a big time match like this. It’ll be interesting to see if he can last in a 15 or 20 minute match with a guy like John Cena.

-The champion looks strong for much of this match, but frustration builds as his big maneuvers fail to put the “Cenation Leader” away.

-Cena finds an opening and locks in a Cross-Face.But he muscles out and Rusev calls for The Accolade, but Cena reverses into the STF.

-He gets the ropes, but Rusev walks into an Attitude Adjustment. 1-2-kick out! Rusev gets The Accolade in again. Great visual of Cena trying to break free. He lifts up Rusev, but he gets low-blowed as the referee is distracted by Lana.

-The Accolade is applied again and the match is called when Cena doesn’t respond.

-The match was destined to go to a bullshit finish. God forbid someone go over.  Rusev still looks like a big deal, but after a night full of controversial finishes they should have booked someone to go over clean. Hopefully Bryan or Reigns will go over without any shenanigans.

7.  Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan for the #1 Contendeship

Reigns and Bryan.jpg

-Happy to see Bryan and Reigns main eventing the show. I’m a huge fan of both men and I have high hopes for this match. Hopefully it gets the Memphis crowd going again.

-The two have a very entertaining feeling-out process as they try and find the correct way to go after one-another.

-The crowd quickly dies again after being hot for the opening moments.

-Bryan catches Reigns with a nasty kick to the midsection, and sells it for the rest of the match. Smart man.

-Reigns can’t stay in control due to his injury, Bryan gets a little too confident. Jumps off the top rope and into Roman Reign’s SuperMan Punch. Bryan kicks out at two! Reigns goes for the spear, Bryan rolls him up! Only a two!

-Running Knee from the corner to Reigns. Another two!

-Bryan delivers kicks to Reigns, but he catches his leg. Bryan reverses into the Yes Lock! Reigns muscles out! Brutal looking punches to Bryan.

-Bryan locks in a triangle chock, but Reigns lifts him and powerbombs him! Both men down. I thought for sure we were going to get another bullshit finish to set up a Triple Threat match at WrestleMania.

-Both men get up at the count of nine. Bryan goes for the Running Knee again. Spear! Reigns wins!

-So happy one man went over cleanly over the other. Regardless of who it was.

-Bryan gets in his face and tells Roman he is better than Brock Lesnar, and tells him to kick his ass, and shakes his hand.

-What does that mean for Daniel Bryan at WrestleMania?

-The crowd were dead for much of this, but the two pros brought them out of their slumber for the final moments of this match. Great main event. Awful crowd.

-Reigns proved himself and WWE knew they’d have to physically put Reigns over Bryan for the fans to accept him. Hopefully the fans don’t turn on Roman Reigns again before WrestleMania.

Final Thoughts.

-The problem I had with this show was all the booking was just stalling for WrestleMania. Which is fine in some respects, but when every match on the card, aside from your main event, ends in some sort of controversy it makes it hard to feel any satisfaction.

-The main event was amazing, Bray Wyatt’s promo was chilling, Sting and Triple H’s segment did it’s job, The Rhodes Brothers had a fun match and a good story. The WWE Tag Team Championship match was fun, but had no real story.

-The WWE Diva’s, Intercontinental Championship, and opening Six-Man Tag Team match are utterly skip-able.

-This was not the show it needed to be, but was far better than I was expecting. It would have helped a lot if the Memphis crowd had been more lively. They sat on their hands for a majority of the show and the silence really killed a lot of the excitement going on in the ring.

-It felt like more of an edition of Monday Night Raw, which is not a compliment in the slightest.

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